One Sunday morning, our pastor asked two questions, “What has God given you, and what are you doing with them?”
The first question was easy to answer. There are so many things that God has blessed me with. But I have to admit that one thing has stuck out the most. That is…the fact that God has given me the three most beautiful children Noah, Raine, and Samuel (who’ll be here in 6 weeks!).
But the second question, I could not answer right away. I almost pretended that I didn’t hear the second question. After denying, denying, and denying… Ooh…I felt something really weird in my stomach, and seconds later, I felt that weird thing, you’d probably call that weird thing the ‘guilt’, coming up to my throat, and trying to open my mouth, so I can confess I haven’t used, or in this case, took care of what God has given me. I shut my mouth tight, and swallowed that weird thing.
Nobody noticed.
So the battle began…again.
After denying so many times, I finally said, “I speak Konglish (which is Korean-English), I can’t home school my kids!” You’d probably think, “What does that guilt have to do with homeschooling?”
You see, homeschooling has been on both me and my husband’s minds since I was pregnant with our first son, Noah. But I guess I was just worried too much about other little things…like my English.
I’m a Mom whose first language is Korean, and I am still learning so much about English. I still can’t say the word ‘squirrel’, so I say, “Hey, Noah! Look! There’s a thingy thingy one a tree!” I still struggle reading Dr. Seuss’s ‘Fox in Socks’ book, and I’m scared to death, when my son picks that book for his bedtime story.
I guess my biggest fear was that one day my children will talk like me. Horrifying!
On top of that, I know my Mom thinks that I’m just going to make her grandchildren suffer, and ruin her precious grandchildren’s life. And I know that every time I call her, she’s going to tell me to free her grandchildren, but I think…this is what I’m called to do; making my children the disciples of Jesus Christ.
So we started homeschooling.
It’s been 3 weeks, and surprisingly, it’s going really well! There are times when it’s very challenging because of my lack of patients, but I have to say that it’s been a blessing to our family! And of course, I don’t have to swallow the guilt to that second question anymore. :)
So I’m asking for your favor for our family. Please pray for us and with us for our journey of homeschooling. We need your prayer, because like my pastor said tonight at evening service, home is the first place where Satan will creep into.
