Morning comes too soon. Jake and I have been taking turns hitting the snooze button on the alarm for the last 30 minutes. It must be time to get up now. I think it's just the mental thing we do, setting up the alarm 30 minutes before the time that we are suppose to wake up. When you push the snooze button, you feel this sense of satisfaction in the depths of your soul, 'we have 30 more minutes...' Sometimes, Jake accidently turns off the alarm...and...you know...
Jake takes a shower, sometimes he sings while he showers, puts his contacts on, shaves, fixes his hair, gets dressed for the day, and then he's ready. Pretty simple guy. Eats his breakfast, grabs his lunch bag, prays with his wife, kisses her for 5 minutes or more, and after his wife reminds him that he needs to go now, he gives his wife puppy dog eyes and ask for one last kiss, then his wife pats him on his buttski, he kisses all of his three children, prays over them and his household, and then he's off to work.
Jake is an awesome husband and father. He tries his best. He loves his family, and I know how much he wants to give to his family. Like he always sings to his daughter, "I love you, I would catch a star for you..."
Watching him this morning, tying his shoes, zipping up his jacket, breathing deeply to pump himself up like Rocky so that he can face this brutally cold morning scraping his car window, brought tears to my eyes, and memories of past four years of our journey flashed through my mind...When Jake decided to pursue becoming a physician back in the winter of 2010, we knew it wasn't going to be an easy road. There were many times he would ask me, "dear, do you think I'm crazy?"
Although I always told him, "No, dear, you are not crazy, this world is crazy." sometimes I thought, well...he just might be...
Through all the ups and downs, he would say, "We are almost there, just follow me."
Through all the valleys, he would say, "Have faith in the Lord, I love you, Jane."
This guy would not give up! I often asked him, "How do you do this?"
But I do remember some nights, when we all are in bed, in deep sleep. I roll over to hold Jake, and he's not there. I find him sitting at the kitchen table....playing angry birds...just kidding;), he's usually praying...and I realize...
This family man too, is scared...
This family man too, gets weary...
I do not fully know or understand what is it like to be a leader of a family; I do not know what it is like to be looked up to as a hero by these little children; I do not know what is it like to go to work every morning, even though there is a state wide winter storm warning; I do not know what is it like to be the one who takes the trash out in their pjs when it is 5 degrees outside in the middle of winter...I will never truly know and understand what my husband is going through as a leader, husband, and a father. But I do know that he's not as tough as he seems inside. This family man is trying his very best to not put his eyes on his family, because he knows that once he puts his eyes on his family, he does starts to worry, and he does begin to get weary...
There are many family men who are scared and weary because they want to do so much for their families...and I am praying for them tonight, especially for mine:)
I know this world pressures them to raise their standard of living higher and higher for their family, I know this world tempts them to take it easy on following Christ and settling down for their family.
I know this world blinds them with responsibilities of providing for their family, so that they can not see the hope of the coming of Christ.
"Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2
Yes, This Christ who endured the cross, despising the shame, and is sitting down at the right hand of the throne of God is coming back! How glorious that day will be!
I'm slapping Jake's buttski as hard as I can with joy tonight! You can do it!
Go get them, Tiger!
