The Family Man

Morning comes too soon. Jake and I have been taking turns hitting the snooze button on the alarm for the last 30 minutes. It must be time to get up now. I think it's just the mental thing we do, setting up the alarm 30 minutes before the time that we are suppose to wake up. When you push the snooze button, you feel this sense of satisfaction in the depths of your soul, 'we have 30 more minutes...' Sometimes, Jake accidently turns off the alarm...and...you know...

Jake takes a shower, sometimes he sings while he showers, puts his contacts on, shaves, fixes his hair, gets dressed for the day, and then he's ready. Pretty simple guy. Eats his breakfast, grabs his lunch bag, prays with his wife, kisses her for 5 minutes or more, and after his wife reminds him that he needs to go now, he gives his wife puppy dog eyes and ask for one last kiss, then his wife pats him on his buttski, he kisses all of his three children, prays over them and his household, and then he's off to work.

Jake is an awesome husband and father. He tries his best. He loves his family, and I know how much he wants to give to his family. Like he always sings to his daughter, "I love you, I would catch a star for you..."
Watching him this morning, tying his shoes, zipping up his jacket, breathing deeply to pump himself up like Rocky so that he can face this brutally cold morning scraping his car window, brought tears to my eyes, and memories of past four years of our journey flashed through my mind...When Jake decided to pursue becoming a physician back in the winter of 2010, we knew it wasn't going to be an easy road. There were many times he would ask me, "dear, do you think I'm crazy?"
Although I always told him, "No, dear, you are not crazy, this world is crazy." sometimes I thought, well...he just might be...


Through all the ups and downs, he would say, "We are almost there, just follow me."
Through all the valleys, he would say, "Have faith in the Lord, I love you, Jane."
This guy would not give up! I often asked him, "How do you do this?"
But I do remember some nights, when we all are in bed, in deep sleep. I roll over to hold Jake, and he's not there. I find him sitting at the kitchen table....playing angry birds...just kidding;), he's usually praying...and I realize...

This family man too, is scared...
This family man too, gets weary...

I do not fully know or understand what is it like to be a leader of a family; I do not  know what it is like to be looked up to as a hero by these little children; I do not know what is it like to go to work every morning, even though there is a state wide winter storm warning; I do not know what is it like to be the one who takes the trash out in their pjs when it is 5 degrees outside in the middle of winter...I will never truly know and understand what my husband is going through as a leader, husband, and a father. But I do know that he's not as tough as he seems inside. This family man is trying his very best to not put his eyes on his family, because he knows that once he puts his eyes on his family, he does starts to worry, and he does begin to get weary...

There are many family men who are scared and weary because they want to do so much for their families...and I am praying for them tonight, especially for mine:)

I know this world pressures them to raise their standard of living higher and higher for their family, I know this world tempts them to take it easy on following Christ and settling down for their family.
I know this world blinds them with responsibilities of providing for their family, so that they can not see the hope of  the coming of Christ.

"Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2
Yes, This Christ who endured the cross, despising the shame, and is sitting down at the right hand of the throne of God is coming back! How glorious that day will be!
I'm slapping Jake's buttski as hard as I can with joy tonight! You can do it!

Go get them, Tiger!

Kimbap

                                                                                                                                                 Kimbap
 It was my favorite thing my Mom made when I was growing up.
Whenever my Mom made Kimbap, I could hardly wait for her to finish making it, I often hung around the kitchen, asking Mom many questions. "Is it done?", "when is it going to be done?", "Can I help you, so it will be done faster?" But my Mom always said, "It's almost done." It was frustrating to me when she says that because that was what she told me 30 minutes ago.


Now whenever I make Kimbap, my children would hang around the kitchen, asking me the same questions that I used to ask my Mom, and I would always say, "It's almost done." :)
And I know now, 'it's almost done.' really means 'It's done when I say it's done, so don't ask me again.'
Oh, the things you find out when you become a Mom.


Making Kimbap is a lot of work. But the work cannot be compared to the precious smiles you get from your children. Seeing my precious children eating well, warms my heart, and gets me rolling up my sleeves again. I can do this!


Ingredients
(makes 5 rolls)

4 cups cooked rice (good quality, short grain rice)
10 sheets of seaweed (nori)
1 carrot, julienne cut.
1/2 cucumber, halved and seeded, and cut it into 5 thin strips (pat it dry with paper towels)
5 imitation crab sticks
1/2 can of spam cut into 1/4-1/2 inch strips
5 long strips of pickled radish (optional)
6 large eggs (beaten)

To season the rice:
1 TBSP sesame seed oil
1 TBSP sesame seed
1 tsp salt

1. Season the rice when it is hot, mix well, and cover it with a damp towel.

 

2. Pour beaten eggs over a greased pan so that it covers the bottom of the pan in a thin layer.

Cook both sides  (just like a pancake).

(I usually cook the eggs and cut into pieces, but today I'm using the whole piece to wrap all the ingredients.)

3. Cook julienned carrots in a greased pan for two minutes.

 4. Fry spam in oil until it's lightly cooked.

 

5. On a sheet of seaweed, place the thin layer of cooked egg, and then place the prepared ingredients.

 

6. Roll up the ingredients.

 

7. On a separate sheet of seaweed, spread the rice.

 

8. Place rolled up ingredients on the rice.

 

9. Roll up all together, and use the bamboo mat to press it evenly.

 10. Viola! your first Kimbap roll is done! I usually lightly rub the seaweed wrapper with sesame seed oil to finish it off.

11. cut it into small pieces (when cutting the roll, rub sesame seed oil on both sides of your knife for easier slicing). Now plate it, serve it, and watch your children and husband devour it...it is worth it;)

 

 

 

 

 

Follow Me

It has been 68 days since my Dad had passed away. It's not that I'm counting the days or anything, but the luggage that I took to Korea is still sitting there under the bed and it is reminding me...'It's time to let him go.'


It seems like everything has changed in Korea now that my Dad is gone. I feel that the Korea, that I know in my heart, is stuck in this dark, cold winter night where there's no sign of the coming morning or spring.


...I miss him.


...I'll miss him on my birthdays.
He always called me in the middle of the night on the day of my birthday to be the first one to say "Happy Birthday Jane!". Although Jake always beat him to it, I'd always say, "Nobody beat you again, Dad."
...I'll miss him when there is a hurricane in Florida. It didn't matter to him that I live in Joplin, Missouri. If he sees news about a hurricane in Florida, he would call me, and ask me to come back to Korea.
...I'll miss him when it snows, because he always had to go to work on snowy days.
...I'll miss him when I drink coffee, because his doctor forbid him to drink coffee since he became ill. And he always told me he'd love to have some. And I know he did. He's naughty.
...I'll miss him when I take pictures of my kids, he would ask me everyday for their pictures, because it encouraged him while he was in the hospital.


...I'll miss him when I eat delicious food. I'll miss him when I visit beautiful places. I'll miss him when spring finally comes.
I will miss him everyday.


At some point in our lives, we all face an unbearable longing for someone who was so dear to our heart. Sometimes we cry, sometimes we stay in bed all day, and sometimes we eat chocolate cake.
we try everything we can, but we all know that there's only one thing that works: coming to Jesus.

On the way to Korea, we were stuck in Denver, Colorado for a day. When our flight was delayed, I was desperate. I knew I'll miss my Dad's funeral and cremation ceremony. In the middle of the Denver international airport, I kneed down and cried. I cried out to God that please let me see my Dad for the last time, at least let me say good bye to him. I was asking God to do something supernatural.


But Jesus spoke to me.
 "Follow me, and allow the dead to bury their own dead." (Matthew 8:22)


God didn't answer my prayer the way I planned;) Not that He can't do a miracle, but He did answer my prayer in His own, much wiser way. He gave me the peace of God which surpasses all understanding.


I still miss my Dad very much. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I hide myself under a blanket and cry again, and sometimes I eat chocolate ice cream on top of chocolate cake that is covered with more chocolate than you can ever imagine.
But I know what Jesus wants for me. He wants me to trust in Him, and to rejoice in His salvation.
So, if there's anybody who's going through the unbearable longing for someone who was very dear to your heart. Come to Jesus with me....and maybe share a piece or two of triple chocolate cake afterwards?


"But I have trusted in Your loving kindness; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation." (Psalm 13:5)